Ali's Big Bad Blogger Challenge topic for today:
SL Bloggers - How hard do you think it is to find a relationship in SL? If you have an SL relationship, have you met in the physical world? Would you meet them? Do you think it would change your SL relationship if you met?
I feel that finding someone in SL is very similar to finding them in RL. It's opportunity and chance. Were you in the right place at the right time? If a lady, where you approachable and friendly? If a gentleman, were you friendly and polite without expecting her to be a pushover who tumbled into bed with you in five minutes?
I've never tried to find someone in SL.
I met Korbin, my first boyfriend, when I had been in for six months. I plopped on a lounger on the beach, he was stretched out on the next one and struck up a conversation. We were together about a year and a half.
I met Stani, my second one, after I'd been in a little over a year. He asked a question in a shop and typically I pipped up with an answer. We went sailing, toured a museum, chatted. We were friends for a year before we began concentrating on each other a little over a year ago.
If you want to meet someone, just live your life (hop around the grid doing stuff and junk), but get out of your pretty home (and be open to chat).
The one thing my husband asked of me before I entered SL was to not tell anyone who I am. Of course. No big deal. Right? I had never participated in online chat rooms or games with a group. I had no comprehension that people you have never seen in person could come to mean so much to you.
I have one friend who was not pleased that I have not agreed to meet him in person.
Korbin lives about 3-1/2 hours away. There was, and still is a chance that we will bump into each other. We exchanged first names and snapshots and talked about how we thought we would react if it ever happened. Basically tongue-tied and then talkative.
Stani lives about 5-1/2 hours away. It is highly unlikely we will accidentally see each other and don't have snapshots to recognize each other by even if fate played that hand.
I think it's natural that meeting anyone you know online would change your relationship in some manner. Would it be awkward, absurd, friendly, disappointing, blah? Would we get past my "OMG!!! It's really him! What do I say? Do I look Okay (my best)? Will he be disappointed?" Hopefully I wouldn't blurt out something stupid and then stand there tongue-tied floundering for words. But I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't exactly how I reacted. Getting past the initial reaction and focusing on what draws you together in SL would be vital.
I feel that if Stani and I knew each other in person through a social or work context, and did not realize we knew each other in SL, that we would be friends. Enough contact and we would be good friends.
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RL Bloggers - Would you start a relationship with someone you met online? Would you have a problem telling people that's where you met? Do you think it's easier to meet someone online rather than at work or at a club?
I have met a few couples in person who began their relationships by meeting online, and talked with a few in SL. Yes, I would be open to getting to know someone online and letting it develop into a relationship through SL or something similar where the beginnings would be friendship.
Whether or not I would have a problem telling someone that is how we met would depend upon who it was - yes and no.
I tried going to a bar with the idea of meeting someone exactly once, I was very uncomfortable with that goal. Meeting at college and at work have both happened in my life. I don't think it is any easier or any harder to meet someone online.