Friday, July 18, 2008

Nika's relationship Questions

As requested in Alicia's blog, I copied these relationship questions from Nika's blog.

If you have a relationship or partner in SL, how does that extend into FL? Do you consider yourself just friends, or something more?

I consider myself to have a relationship in SL, although he is logging on very seldom these days. I can't turn my feelings off and on, so I care for him a great deal in life - period. I feel we are very good friends in FL. We share the small stuff along with the big things that happen to us in FL. I am a very loyal friend, and it is not easy to become a friend of mine in FL. Many more people feel that I am their friend in FL, than I would list personally. I might call them a coworker, or a friendly acquaintance, or a casual friend and they would consider me the next notch up from there! So you could probably kick him up a notch from very good friend.

How often do you talk to your partner outside of Second Life.. be it via email or IM?
Do you ever talk on the phone?

We have chatted on rare occasions via SL/email. We do leave IM's sometimes when one of us is on and wants to say something that are then usually referenced and sometimes expanded upon when we are both on SL again. We haven't exchanged phone numbers etc.

If you could meet your partner in person, would you? What do you imagine that would be like- where would you go, or what would you do?

No. We have not told the other person who we are in FL and we are respecting each other's wishes by not using the information we have exchanged (which is sufficient - & includes first names) to track down the other person. If we did meet, I could imagine going to a park or the beach to talk and walk.

If we saw each other from time to time, I think we would enjoy going to a few science or flight oriented museums, gigs/concerts and movies. But we would probably just go to the beach, movies or have something to eat while we talked even more and hugged; mustn't forget the hugs :D

Our AV's look as much like us as possible so we wouldn't have "you don't look like yourself" to get past. We know each other's general location, which is about a 3-4 hour drive in the same time zone. It is feasible that we could bump into each other at a gas station or fast food restaurant. I would probably be panic stricken because my AV is younger than I am (he knows, but still...); my next reaction would be "am I wearing something I look good in?" - lol. We both think we would be tongue-tied at first.

Do you feel like having a relationship in Second Life is similar to having a long distance relationship? Or is it a different type of relationship, entirely?

It is both to me. We have exchanged photos of ourselves and our pets. I even sent him one of my glasses (lol) they are shaped a bit differently than the wonderful oval ones I was gifted with in SL. To me notecards are the SL equivalent of letters and I've given him a few when I wanted to go into depth on a topic and knew we would get side tracked during a conversation.

I am married in FL, my husband knows, and is encouraging regarding an SL relationship for me. He plays, but not as much as he used to, and we lead totally separate lives in SL. We see each other occasionally in SL - have you seen this? or I think you would like this! or I broke ____, can you help?

I have a very social job. Co-workers and customers are constantly telling me what is going on in their lives. When it is pertinent to the conversation, I do refer to my SL bf and other SL friends as "a friend" (leaving SL out of it) that is ____ (going to the same concert in a different city) or is going through _____ (the same or similar things as the person I am talking with).

But at the same time, we are very connected to our AV's. So it's more than just a long distance relationship, because in a sense you are right there with them. We have voiced a couple of times and I believe we will do it more regularly. Voicing makes your contact much more immediate. You hear the emotion. He gave me bad news about his dog, and it was all I could do to say something. I could have responded by typing much faster, but he wouldn't have realized how much I care (I'm such a softie).

New Question -

If you met through an online chat, do you feel you would have developed a relationship? or the same level of relationship?

I am very visually oriented, therefore I never understood online love interests through chat. I could make friends via chat, but don't believe I could develop a gf/bf relationship without the representation of ourselves through AV's.

Since I didn't answer on my blog the first time,I copied my response from Alicia's blog in case anyone read my answers to Niki's and was curious.

July 12, 2008 4:06 PM
Casandra Shilova said...

If you are in a relationship in SL, where did you meet?

I am in a relationship. We met on a beach in during my first successful attempt at camping! I've only done it a few times. He was in the adjoining lounger - friendly, bright, unintentionally funny. He is the first person that I didn't know that I accepted friendship from - a comment about my patriotic swimsuit did it!

Do you think if you'd met the same person in a different location in SL that you'd have gotten together?

I don't think it would have mattered where we met.

If you're a woman, do you regularly get hit on when you're in world?

I do get hit on, but not regularly. I'm pretty much girl next door material.

If you find out that the person you're talking to has skills that you may not, does it intimdate you?

I struggle with PhotoShop, while he is a graphic designer comfortable with 2 versions of PS, but it doesn't intimidate me.

I have a couple of good male friends I hang around with too. One I met through a dance group I'm in. One picked me up at an animation store by inviting me to go sailing! The latter is very analytical and has a better vocabulary than I do, which keeps me on my toes and occasionally intimidates me. During conversations, I sometimes look words he uses up online (Merriam-Webster).

Do you think being bloggers has affected your relationships? If you are with a blogger, does it change how you are with them

I'm blogging now, he doesn't. He doesn't pay attention to SL on the internet. I don't think it will have an affect.


Nika said...

Hi, thank you very much for answering. :) I'm really interested in seeing the different perspectives on this.

Nika said...

I added the new question to my blog, thanks. :) I hope to answer them this weekend.